Episode 889-899

Baby!plot? What baby!plot? We'll be over here with Deniz munching on the left-over pizza and enjoying the Anningo angst, adorable boys, and BeKa comforting. (BTW Ben, if you're honestly not interested in Katja, you might want to refrain from undressing her with your eyes in the future.)

Meanwhile, Roman's training methods need a bit of work. Where's the half-empty vodka bottle from last night's binge? Why are you actually watching Katja skate instead of texting on your mobile? And what is all of this encouragement and praise? Mike would be so disappointed.

Poor Katja, caught between Mirror Twin in stroppy ego-crushing mode and Roman in single-minded trainer mode. Soz, Mirror Twin, but you don't stand a chance. We've seen that determined gleam in Roman's eyes before, usually when he was intent on proving someone's gayhood. But hey, if it'll take more naked lotioning to get you on board, then we're all for it. In the meantime, we'll just smile sweetly at Ben's talk of muscular, half-naked sweaty guys, and keep it in reserve for the day that Show decides he really is gay after all.

Helpless against the combined puppy eyes of Roman, Deniz, and Ben, Katja faces her demons and resolves to compete in the Essen Cup - the skating event of the year in our little village of Central Essen. (A village, Schatz? More like the watercooler at a small but very gossipy company.)

But Bergmann sister anguish proves too powerful for our plucky would-be champ. As Lena faces a horribly unsparkly life as Greasy Max's trophy wife and personal brood mare, and Annette crumbles in the never-locked lift of sorrow, Katja misses her ONE AND ONLY CHANCE EVER to skate for the Steinkamp team. WOE.

Roman goes into stern trainer mode, but Katja's earnest wibbleface is a mighty weapon, especially when all her daft, team-losing actions (srsly, chica, you couldn't have spared 5 secs for a text?) are borne on the wings of sisterly love. Apparently Richard's less into that, though, because he totes smacks down the littlest Bergmann's plea for another chance. We'd say Richard has no taste but then the man is dating Celine. NO FURTHER EVIDENCE REQU'D.

Oh, and look who's all scruffy-bearded and bespectacled and deliciously devious and Not Dead Yet! *bounce*

Katja continues to demonstrate her radical approach to becoming a professional skater, which includes weird and unfamiliar practices such as getting up and trying again plus listening to her trainer. *GASP* (Said trainer seems to have acquired Eskimo Jacket 2.0; hai Costume!)

The Centre gets a facelift (which apparently left that irresistibly erotic smell of old feet in the locker room undisturbed) but the real attraction is Axel's deliciously smarmy whispers and glimpses of smug catlike!Jenny. Meow.

PS: Bit of back story for those of you who are confused: Axel was forced to flee to South America by an evil Steinkampian plot to get rid of him. He's been there for the past half year or so and faked his own death so he could scheme in peace. His current master evil plan is to purchase, by sneaky and underhanded means, the land that the Centre is built on (which doesn't actually belong to them) to screw the Steinkamps over. Just pretend it's normal, people.

Busy days at Casa WildTurkey. Deniz polishes his mad Perfect Boyfriend skillz to be able to compete with Ceramic Stovetop for Roman's affection, the gang comes over for some kinky fun with paints and brushes, Marian tearfully clasps Oliver back to his bosom (by which we mean "grunts at him a bunch and clinks beer bottles in a manly fashion"), and people conveniently exposition about the icky Richard/Celine sitch, which we choose to overhear in favour of ogling the Fluff-munching boys in the background. (C'mon, srsly, Fluff? That stuff is vile!) Alas, eviction notices are immune to gooey marshmallowy goodness, it appears. Trouble ahoy!

Stuff you knew about Show:

-Marian always wears black.
-Marian has shitloads of uncles/brothers.
-Roman likes his showers steamy.
-The Öztürk abode has a Hogwartsian layout with several mystery rooms that appear whenever needed.
-Show sometimes likes cheesy flashbacks to stuff we didn't see happen.
-Bergmann sisters are made of win.
-Deniz is made of angel cake.

Stuff you may not have known about Show:

-Roman Wild has a definitive age. HALLELUJAH.

Jennifer hatches a radical plan for the Steinkamp skating team: Get Skaters. Soapy contrivance to get there, sure (Simone scammed Richard to sign over his shares in the Centre), but what do we care when Jenny's getting on her smug face? Especially when it means Roman is sly, Deniz is wary, and Katja's afraid of the Team of Terror. And yeah, EKP is clapping our hands gleefully.

And Ingo sings That Damn Song again, the same one they've drug out a zillion times before and literally played to death, and yet somehow this time he and Annette manage to make us sniffle. How do they do it? It's a mystery. (And big hugs, Show, for turning everyone in the bar gay. Rainbow cookies are on the way for you, share around please.)

Because it's contractually illegal for any Steinkamp skater (whether or not they have actually signed a contract yet) to just skate and focus on their career, Katja promptly gets tangled up in Max and Simone's new evil scheme to scam Richard out of his property. Roman predictably fails at selling Team Jenny as a fluffy haven of unbiased, secure and professional sportsmanship. And Axel wins our hearts by tricking Jenny into kinky Holmes/Watson roleplaying. Well, at least we hope they'll turn kinky at some point.

(Apologies for not covering the Max/Katja parts of this (basically, she overheard him talk about the fake property heir he hired and he threatened her), but there wasn't enough time and anyway, Max has lost all persuasiveness of his evil ever since he started cooing over a pink-toed baby. Pfffft.)