Episode 860-867

Once again, Show rises above standard soap fare and proves it's mastered the art of "hurts so good" with a well-delivered punch in the gut.

Which is just a fancy way of saying *SOBS* is all we've got, Eskimos. But there's plenty of room on the red couch and pink blankets to snuggle for all who want to join us for a good cry in our Prosecco.

Apparently evil twins are all the rage -- Jenny went and got herself one, too. Should've picked up a nice version for Grandma while she was at it. What a vile ihtiyar cadı (derogatory Turkish=oh so useful!). In other news, heartbreak as usual :(

Jenny cooks. Marian is scared. Smart bloke, that Marian. Except for that last scene where he goes and proves that actually, he is pretty damn stupid *collective headdesking*

Meanwhile at No.7, Roman gives us a GIANT SPOON SHOUTOUT hearkening back to ep 742, Deniz is attacked by evil casserole monsters, and Oliver runs away in terror when he realises that he is now dating Stella. (JUST KIDDING, YOU GUYS! They are not actually dating. He's been taking care of her and Show is trying to be misleading, but we won't be misled because we all know who the real OTP in this triangle are, right, right? [Hint: Their names rhyme with "Mars" and "Moliver".])

Is it physically possible to break up roughly forty-seven times in the space of a few months? Also, if you break up before you've actually gotten back together, surely that's cheating? Also also, with that sheer overwhelming number of break-ups, how is it even possible that every single one still hurts so damn much? :( We demand some answers, MaJe. (Or Johnny Cash. He seems to know what he's on about.)

In need of a soothing band aid? HERE, LOOK! It's the first Roman/Jenny scene in 120 episodes! And it's lovely! With fond teasing, sincere advice and coffee being passed back and forth! And matching grey sweaters, OMG! (A giant Bailey's cheesecake for Costume!)

And to make up for the briefness of the DeRo (sorry, but angry!Deniz had to be taken home to let off some steam, and Roman went with him to assist, out of the goodness of his heart), here, have some of our increasingly canon newest GBWI loveliness: Lars and Oliver brood and angst and wibble over the complex tangles of their fraught and angry love. Please note: English speakers may have some trouble with the German idiom "To hit [a] Stella with a car." It means "to be unable to admit feelings for a person of the same sex." Keep that in mind and you'll be able to follow their conversation much better.

PS: Aldi would like to apologise for that huge translation blooper she made in the scene with Deniz, Roman and Lars at No.7. Unfortunately, she was so distracted by Roman's indulgent little smirk at Lars and Deniz's frothy flailing that she accidentally translated "odd person drowning in knitwear that I share a flat with" as "my best friend." Sorry about that.

Oliver compares Stella to road rubbish. Not nice, Oliver. (But: heeeh!) Also, when we named this playlist "More Gay Boys With Issues," we never dreamed that we would actually be GETTING more of them! But look at Lars and Oliver continuing their angry anguished song and dance of snarling and shoving and pleading and threatening and putting their faces reeeeaaally close together! That's a pretty convincingly gay, boyish, and issue-y case right there. Mhmmmm. Carry on! *noisy popcorn munching*

Meanwhile at the Öztürk Residence of Assorted Strays And Whiny Wheelchair Dwellers, soap medicine rears its delirious head again, with the inevitable Mysterious Innovative Surgery Trope (MIST, which incidentally means "crap." Heeeeh!). Risks, side effects? Pffft, fiddle-de-dee! Who cares about such trivialities?

Oh, and Ben is naked. (We know, we know - why did we bother writing a descrip? Clearly "BEN IS NAKED" should be plenty.) Sadly, Deniz left too early to give Katja good advice on what good friends do in showers, so she can't handle it. Although she'd clearly love to handle it. (Heeeeh.) As might Annette, actually, judging from her level of interest. Half-naked Bergmann sisters wrestle with naked Ben as a prize, please!

In which Deniz spends Valentine's Day taking out girls and getting hit on by cute strangers, Katja explains the band-aid courting ritual (oh honey, Deniz knows that one well), and Annette again demonstrates that she's capable of caring for only one person at a time (this time it's Lena, who's making yet another bad marriage decision - good old Lena!) and offers advice equivalent to "love makes you fat."

Also, Deniz, you left your fries... guess you won't mind us eating them? *gobbles*

Apparently the EKP version of the scripts were lost, in which Katja is possessed by her evil-mirror-twin and shags Ben within an inch of his life on the foosball table. Instead, Katja's pottymouth offends Deniz's virgin ears (which, what? Surely Roman talks dirty! Speaking of, why are you listening to Katja's Ben woes instead of giving your boyfriend a goodbye blowjob? sigh), Annette's still fretting over Max's evil plan for world domination (which somehow revolves around custody of an ugly baby), and Ben is so clueless that we wonder how he gets dressed by himself in the morning. (If he needs help with that, we're glad to oblige. We're generous that way.)