Episode 770-777

At the behest of Simone the Slasher Queen, Deniz and Roman act out a good percentage of All Fangirls' Fantasies, Ever (a sparkly gold lamé boat, a picnic, lots of groping, and even sharing a BED), but it wouldn't be our boys if all the goodies didn't come with major knife-twisting, now would it? (Cheers, Simone, btw. You're rapidly becoming our favourite cast member!)

Meanwhile, Axel and Nina's tangled romance tells us that true love means falling all over each other drunk. Or putting up with really bad morning breath. Either way, they're presh.

Simone rolls out the big guns -- penalty threats, enforced couch smoochies, enough English to put us out of a job, and carefully choreographed mostly-naked writhing. Damn, is she a pro or what?? Deniz makes impatient noises. Roman cracks.

(We're now taking bets on whether Male Function actually exists or whether it's all just a big elaborate ploy of the Slasher Queen to secure a reliable source of gay porn for herself. If so... ROCK ON, SISTER.)

Also, boys, Ollian called. Apparently you stole something of theirs. No idea what they're talking about. Noooooo idea. At all.

...Bliss. No, seriously, BLISS.

Had you asked us yesterday how long we thought it would take for our wibbly fangirl hearts to recover from writhing in agony and crawling after their own severed, twitching, bleeding shreds, we might have said "a lifetime" and only been somewhat exaggerating. We've been thriving on the delicious agony of this exquisite pacing, but even we have limits.

Today... today we know the answer is "a minute and a half." A MINUTE AND A HALF OF SHEEREST, UNADULTERATED BLISS.

Show... OH, SHOW. Have a medal. Have a hundred. The sparkliest of all sparkly medals. Medals for these two actors, who've been delivering jaw-droppingly brilliant performances throughout this entire storyline and who've made every damn moment real. Medals for the writers (one Markus Böhlke among them *g*) who developed this amazing, mature, agonizingly beautiful love story and did Every Single Thing right. Medals for the directors and their perfect balance of poignancy and silliness, squeeeeee and pain, and for bringing it all together. Medals for the continuity people! Medals for Costume! Medals for Lighting and Camerawork! A giant medal for Music Dept., who have utterly surpassed themselves by not only reusing Revolverheld's "Längst Verloren" to maximum painful effect (for a translation of the lyrics, please see ep 766) but by coming full circle with a DeRo classic: "Unzertrennlich" from the milestone episode 300. And a medal for the eskimo kiss! (yes, it gets its own medal. Deal! ;))

They've done it. They've really, really done it. Excuse us as we return to our BLISS-ON-LOOP.

OH HAI RED COUCH! Long time, no see!

Okay, now that that's been reclaimed, let's see about getting a bed for the guys. And a room. With a door that locks. It was hard to enjoy this adorable cuddlefest for fear that Marian would return home early.

Oh, who are we kidding, it wasn't hard to enjoy at all - we embarrassed ourselves by turning into puddles of goo. Show's got us feeling unbearably sappy these days, but what can we do? We're helpless against such familiar and beloved lines as "I'll watch out for you." (Watch ep299 if you don't know what we're talking about. Or watch 299 anyway, just to make your life better.)

Although we hope Marian keeps that couch scotchguarded...

Speaking of couches, last night all our favourites - Silvia, Igor, Sam & Dennis - piled on together for a videochat. We'll have subs up at some point, but in the meantime, support the source! http://rtl-now.rtl.de/awz.php?film_id=17372&player=1&seas...

Also, since you're going to ask, the song used in the beginning is Brandi Carlile's "The Story."

The pink clouds of fluffy bliss are threatened by financial woes and scheming Steinkamps. Keule donates fries. Nina contributes fangirl silliness. "Gernot" sends indecent proposals (okay commenters, fess up! Which of you has been sending Deniz his measurements?? *stern look*). Deniz attempts to go argue with the Steinkamps, which... boyfriend needs help. Deniz, darling, how can you still manage to look so innocent after all you've been through? You're making us want to pull our hair into a bun, don glasses and a business suit, and sweep into the Steinkamps' office declaring, "We're his lawyers. BACK OFF."

Let's all hop into the Wayback Machine. Deniz lies. Roman doesn't listen. We thought we went through this 400 episodes ago!

Boys, fix this or you're both going to the doghouse pronto. (Each to his own. With no access to the MF blog or your private messages where you send each other nude pics.)

On the plus side, it turns out there's an off switch for Stella on the remote. Good to know.

Drama, hissy fits, woobie song montages with flashbacks, smoochies, yup, all as we know and love it. Well, except for the slapsticky comedy of error bits. Lots of things about this episode do not make sense: How did Roman know to show up at the Steinkamp office with a passport and an excuse to save Deniz from Simone's withering stare? How is Roman too broke to pay one month's rent but a plane ticket to the States (or Turkey, for that matter) is no problem? Male Function only wants Deniz to model...wtf, are they crazy? (We have a few hundred vids that prove Deniz and Roman are much hotter together than apart. Come to our channel, Schatzis, and let us show you how awesome gay-boys-with-issues can be.)

But most importantly, Show, THERE WAS A BED SCENE (okay, fine, pull-out couch, whatevs) WITH OUR BOYS IN UNDIES HAVING LONG MEANINGFUL TALKS AND POSSIBLY (DEFINITELY) MORE SEX AND WE NEVER GOT TO SEE IT? NOT COOL. *SADFACE FOREVER* We demand deleted scenes and DVD extras or we'll send Simone after you with her big umbrella and lust for hot boys--DON'T THINK WE WON'T.

Okay, now that that's done and DeRo are going to Ameeeeeerica, one of you guys over there can cover their adventures in L.A. and we'll just sit back and munch popcorn as we watch. Be sure to include the hotel room footage, plane toilet footage, V.I.P. clubs footage and, y'know, all that stuff. Not that we're not wildly interested in board meetings with MF, too.

Srsly tho, while the boys are away, we'll probably take it a bit slower and won't be doing a clip every day for other storylines (Jenny, etc.). We need to spend some quality time with our therapists. Apparently they think there's stuff we need to FACE and VERBALISE about OBSESSION and FIXATION and we don't really know why they get to CAPSLOCK, that's usually OUR PREROGATIVE.