Episode 740-749

Marian: Jenny, you supremely irritating but strangely alluring creature, WHERE R U?? *frets*

Oliver: Oh pish, fiddle-de-dee! She's fiiiiine! Never mind that severe hypothermia I just treated her for and this massive scary thunderstorm and the fact that if we wanted to make sure she was with her parents, we could just CALL her parents and ASK if she's there (soap logic, yay!)... NO, NO, SHE IS FINE. PROST!

Deniz: Pfah, bitch deserves whatever.

Marian: OMG YOU PEOPLE SUCK.

Daft clueless puppies and Nina facepalming,
Cocktails and angsting and dreams of wallslamming,
There's skating and giggling and falling free.
These are the things that make EKP squee!

PS: Dammit, we were almost done with our movie about Roman's life! Guess we'll have to put that on hold now. SPOILSPORT, THAT ROMAN!

eniz manages to pull off the Herculean feat of making an apology sound sincere (even though we're currently buying a medium-sized island with the dollars we've collected for each of his previous "I'm sorry" attempts). Roman eats away his sorrows with the biggest spoon in the world. And Nina will shortly be leaving the show, as we're in the process of hiring her as our Personal Assistant, to bring us coffee and muffins every morning (and we won't be nearly as picky as Roman!)

Oh, and some hot chick in a red dress showed up. No idea who she is, but we thought you might like some extra eye candy ;-)

PS. We're feeling some deja vu here, remembering when Nina told Deniz that Vanessa liked him. Pls let Deniz figure out that he likes Roman back, and when that happens, pls pls pls let him talk to an inanimate object on which he's drawn a little Roman face, and maybe wearing Roman's stolen cap...

Jenny isn't Marian's type. L'Arse isn't an asshole. Deniz didn't really mean to grab Roman's balls.

Or:

MaJe SQUEEEE! L'ARSE, YOU SUCK! EEEEK *crosses legs*

P.S. No, we didn't edit out L'Arse conversation wtih Marian -- AWZ chose not to show it. But that's fine, bc the sooner L'Arse goes back to Stella and off our screens, the better!

The episode that sucked our will to live. Only Marian's dream sustained us. We will play it on loop and try to forget the vileness.

PS: We know L'Arse always uses girls to get over drinking so it's possible that Show doesn't know much about proper withdrawal or exposure therapy, but we're pretty sure that when trying to build up resistance to a toxic substance (like Iocaine powder, or Stella), you're supposed to start with small doses. WE FEEL SEVERELY OVERDOSED.

Stella steals keys and sneaks into rink = irrepressible joy of being on the ice. Jennifer steals keys and sneaks into rink = horrible, evil plot to bring down Dulla and L'Arse and destroy their fluffy love nest and more importantly, Stella's rise to skating stardom! (Not that Stella cares about such things--she's only in it for the love of the sport! Just like Deniz wanted to be a model since, like, forever, omg.)

Newsflash, guys, it's not all about you.

In case anyone has forgotten it, Jenny faked her own abduction, OMG you guys!!! She faked being bashed in the head with a piece of wood. She faked bleeding from a head wound while being stuffed in the boot of a car. She faked being locked up in a cabin in the woods and being terrified by chainsaw horror movie noises outside. She faked being tied to a chair and left there, without water or food, while her fake kidnapper who she totally made up fled the country and called some other fake person to clean up his mess.

WHAT AN EVIL FAKER, THAT JENNY.

(Yes, she drew it out, and that was fake, and wrong. We know. But srsly, we're going to start charging a dollar every time someone mentions that JENNY FAKED HER OWN ABDUCTION and cheerfully ignores the fact that Precious Stella's Precious Daddy actually did kidnap her. Ugh.)

In other news, Jenny sabotages Stella's skate. We're... good with that, actually.

Stella, what Stella? There is no Stella in this clip. *ignores* There are boys in pool! That's all! And Deniz can't get it up. Er, him. HIM. HE CAN'T GET ROMAN UP, OKAY.

Lars sucks and anyone who comments that Jenny should be drowned WILL be drowned. In blood. (Not that we're biased or anything.)

And uhm, no idea what's with all the nods to Paul Pradel but HAI PAUL, YOU ROCK!

Note to Stella: when saving someone from drowning, generally it takes more than saying "You're okay, right?" and leaving them in a pool of water to do the job. Who'd you learn first aid from anyway, your dad? We'll be over in the locker room headdesking with Roman as he conveniently expositions away Deniz's sexual identity confusion, not allowing Deniz to get a word in. You call it a phase, we call it being Romansexual.

Everyone: Wow! We've never seen Deniz and Stella look so good together! Their elegant grace, their skillful technique, their perfect rapport with each other... even Richard is impressed.

Mike: Oh, shit.

Major drama! Moping, yelling, accusing, orgasming, and justifying of murder attempts. Show, if you keep up this awesome, we'll run out of popcorn. (Nina! Avidbel! Somebody bring more!)

PS: A necessary reminder from the olden days, guys: No slurs about characters' appearances, pls. There's plenty to dissect in their actions.

In which various people line up at Deniz's door to apologise, yell, get yelled at, shoved, eyeflashed (we still want old eyeflashes back pls) and/or kissed. We'd call and ask if he takes appointments but damn, that looks like one busy morning already.

Also, Roman has a friend named Stephen who taught him how to use DICK TAPE. Oh how we wish we didn't know what he's talking about. Thanks forever for that mental image, Stephen Dürr!