Episode 699-708

Why does no one ask "What's up, Roman? Tell us what's going on, Roman?" That's a very good question, one we'd like to know ourselves. After all, he's dealing with a giant on the loose, a drunken choreographer, an absentee skating partner, and a controller wacked out on Maximum juice. So what happens instead? He gets roped into a thankless job as a model for Annette's fashion show, and then when he gets to compete solo in the Essen Cup begs--begs!--for her permission to let him do it. Which she very grudgingly and oh-so-generously gives. Roman, Schatz, you need new friends.

But at least he makes time for an "errand" which we're happily reinterpreting as a "get me out of this stupid place emergency blowjob" errand with his cabbie.

In which there is skating. And Deniz puppywags through this entire clip in an unfairly adorable fashion, falling all over himself to congratulate Roman and reviving the famous "A medal is a medal" line. (No, Deniz, he hasn't forgotten that. He quotes the damn line at people every chance he gets! And yes, Roman, Deniz may be trying to get back into your good graces, or possibly your pants, but that doesn't mean it isn't true.)

PS. RTL accidentally aired the incorrect episode today, which had edited out Roman's (almost) winning performance in the Essen Cup. Fortunately we caught this in time, and our clip includes the skating as it was intended to be shown.

PPS. Dennis, we know you hate skating, but we're not crazy about our jobs either. Stop being such a diva and get back on the ice. We need new skating clips!

Annette departs to create mad costumes in Hannover for a while (yes, yes, she'll be coming back) and gets sweet goodbye gifts from Roman, Mike and Ingo.

Meanwhile, Bulle's ghost rears its head (unfortunately not literally, although we keep imploring RTL to give us our zombie arc) as the murder weapon is found and the unfairly sexy Detective Koch interrogates and then arrests Deniz. Dear folks in charge at the Essen jailhouse: Please, please, we beg you, put this kid in a single cell. He's too pretty for prison and we're fairly sure Roman would like him back undefiled.

Detective Koch has got the steely look and the predatory interrogation prowl down pat, but she needs to watch more CSI because this is some damn shoddy questioning. (Why aren't other people's fingerprints on top of Deniz's? What's with the lame "you don't need a lawyer" trick? How can there be a murder case without a body? Why is she so intent on pinning this murder on Deniz? Is it legal for two people this hot to occupy the same room for extended periods of time? Further investigation is requ'd!)

That said, we're willing to overlook banalities like logic when we get intense performances like these. Igor and Mareike both act the hell out of their scenes, and the camera and lighting team deserve a fresh batch of cookies too.

Also, it's always reassuring to see people acting normal, i.e. Mike dickishly running away. Carry on, Mike! We were getting very perturbed by this whole Nice New Mike routine.

PS: If someone doesn't tell Roman that all this is going on, EKP is going to be very, very miffed. We want prison visits!

The Day Everyone Flunked Soap Writing 101: Here's a hint. When there's an intriguing plot going on involving a character being innocently stuck in prison, it helps to include the occasional scene featuring said character. INSTEAD OF BLOODY CELINE.

But apparently most of the cast was off watching something more interesting being filmed (WHY DID WE NOT GET INVITED??), leaving Marian mostly by himself to babysit the "plot". Yawn.

Contrived jail plot thickens! We'd be a lot happier with Mike being an asshole (because nice and supportive!Mike is creepy and wrong) if it didn't mean that Deniz had to suffer because Mike's "been through enough." Man up, dude, and turn yourself in. Your excuses are wearing thin. (But thank you so much for letting us hate you again. Cheers!)

Oh and Annette drops by Essen for a couple hours for a "miss you" bootycall and to make sure we haven't forgotten about her since she's been gone all of 3 days. We'd absolutely adore the scenes between her, Roman, Ingo and Nina, if it didn't mean that once again Roman has been kept out of the loop. WHERE ARE OUR PRISON VISITS, RTL?

PS: Gah, we missed it because it's fast and mumbled, but at 3:30 when Annette and Roman run back inside, Roman says "Cute cabbie!" as he looks back at the taxi. Don't just say it, Roman - do something about it!

Apparently the police stole all of Deniz's clothes (good tactic, Det. Koch! We'd do the same thing!) so he has to borrow Roman's. Logical? NO. Approved? HELL YES.

PS. EKP is all aglow at seeing the happy family gathered around the dinner table in the last scene. (We haven't forgotten that Marian calls Roman his future son-in-law and Roman calls Marian "Daddy". It's canon, ppl!)