Episode 680-689

We are drunk, but that doesn't change the fact that this ep is made of awesome. Jenny wants Marian to give it to her hard, and oh yeah, tie her up--she's used to it. Nina is delusional but we love her so, and Roman darling, CPR doesn't equal slipping Axel the tongue, jfyi. (Have we mentioned we are drunk? Because we are.)

PS: Dennis's amazing snot-producing abilities make a triumphant return! We are in awe. And a bit envious. And also drunk. (Lilith wouldn't want you to know that we are drunk. But we are. Just in case you didn't catch that.)

This episode is so very vital, it's in two parts. Axel's Never-Ending Story begins when Roman whisks him away from Dreary Life (courtesy of CPR-with-tongue.) We're pretty sure RTL got the idea from hanging out on our favourites page and watching this vid over and over again (like we do). Also, Marian is mean. We're kinky here at EKP, but we draw the line at spiders, okay?

Axel's Never-Ending Story continues in part 2 where... uhm, sorry. What are we doing? Why are we here? Why should we care about anything but the GOLD LAMÉ HOT PANTS? ...right, we're supposed to be professional. But we do feel bad for Nina--does she seriously have to go through the same storyline again? We want to whisk her off to happy EKP Land and make her forget all about Axel.

Also, we eagerly await Marian and Jenny's adventures next ep, where they will walk through a magic door inside their surrounded cabin and escape to the land of sparkles and gold lamé hot pants too. (We are not very particular as to which one wears the hot pants, either.)

Roman babbles faster than humanly possible (you might want to keep your finger on the pause button as you read). The rescue team rushes in to save Jenny slower than humanly possible. And Stella proves herself dimmer than humanly possible by handing Bulle the keys to the kingdom.

PS: Mike, you're not a rockstar. JFYI.

After escaping from their COMPLETELY SURROUNDED cabin by strolling out the back door, Jenny and Marian tease us with hypothermia fic. Meanwhile, Roman tells Stella what we've been saying all along: You've left the circus, sister. Stop dressing like a clown!

Marian, how many times have we told you, do NOT keep your valuables in your pinball machine, where any 13 year old with a hairpin can rob you blind! Not that you're worried about that, rolling around with Jenny in your forest lovenest ... oh wait, that was just in our imaginations, wasn't it? Also, Deniz returns to foil Bulle's plot ... or does he? (From where we're sitting, it looks like Bulle's evil plan is to get Deniz and Roman back together. If so, Bulle, thumbs up!)

EKP IS SO PROUD OF ROMAN RIGHT NOW! Don't get us wrong--all three of us would love to see DeRo get back together, with varying degrees of qualifications. But Deniz has needed this reality check for a LONG time! Comfort and sex are not the same things. And kudos to Dennis G. for putting just the right amount of pain into that scene and showing us how hard it was to say no.

And not only that, but we get even more of Jenny and Marian's adventures in hypothermia. Thanks, AWZ, for the best episode in ages!

Roman and Deniz take turns being scared of Bulle (with a brief detour as Deniz fantasises about Roman sopping wet in the shower). Roman, for all his claims to be over Deniz, has a cuddly DeRo photo in his kitchen [watch closely at 0:10]. FURTHER INVESTIGATION IS REQU'D! Marian flees from Stella's boring blather to sizzling flashbacks of kissing Jenny. And Mike proves once again that he's an arse with a tasteless sense of humour. All is well with the world!

EKP doles out a collective smack to L'Arse for hypocritically criticising Deniz. Who's the only team member who's actually been around to train lately, hmm? Way to live up to your name, L'Arse! Also, Mike vomits last minute character exposition at Celine in a lame-ass attempt to justify not going to the police.

Meanwhile, our hearts are warmed by more flashbacks to Jenny and Marian's forest lovenest. (Yes, we're in denial, we know.)