Episode 670-679

Stella totally works her bruised knee for sympathy (who takes care of Roman when he falls, huh?) while her dad continues the crazy. Deniz is back in the toolbox. (See you next year for your annual episode of semi-lucidity, Deniz.) At least we get to see Roman!

Roman chews out Deniz. Deniz doesn't get it. Sound familiar? Also, Dear Anton & Ingo--Medicine: You're doing it wrong.

(EKP is going to hell for having simultaneous shippy moments about Marian/Deniz.)

Roman/Randy=EKP flail!!! The camerawork could have been improved (why did we not follow Roman as he led Randy to his bedroom) but hey, after this drought, we'll take what we can get! Also, more crazy!Anton, reformed?Bulle, and angry Turkish -- does it get any better than this? (BTW, if you're confused about Roman mentioning the DeRo conversation that we've never seen, we were too. Guess RTL thought we'd be distracted by RoRa ... and OK, it worked.)

(Also also, dude's name is not actually Randy, no. But we like Randy. Randy can stay.)

(Also, for clarity's sake, Nina got Axel a job but then after he dissed her she tried to blackmail him so Axel came up with this elaborate grand declaration of love and totally won her over and slept with her even though he's just playing her even though he also actually likes her so he feels bad... WHY ARE WE EXPLAINING THIS? JUST WATCH ROMAN AND RANDY, OKAY!)

After crazy!Anton's crazy scheme to shake Jenny's blood back into her skull fails, he flees to Hungary, offloading the problem onto Marian. Marian, dude, we totally support you falling into Etienne's schemes, but this is a whole new level of insane. Run away! Meanwhile, Deniz is terrified by his own anger issues (blame your father and all his angry Turkish!) and flees to Oberstdorf, despite all his "I'll be your bodyguard, Roman" talk last week. Deniz, how can you leave when Roman's asking you to stay with that tone of eyes? :-( (Also, the forehead bump of affectionate wistfulness is killing us.)

PS: This whole ep is confusing. And no, it's not the way we cut it.

Dear Deniz, please come back and take up your bodyguardly duties RIGHT THIS SECOND. Roman is in sore need of them. (Why is Roman ALWAYS abandoned by his friends?)

Warning: Contains violent scenes that some viewers may find disturbing. We did.

Roman's friends rally round him after Bulle's attack. Annette dumps Smarmian and reunites with Ingo. Jenny returns, mussed but still elegant, and Lars is overjoyed. Anton is killed by a drunken lorry driver in Hungary and Stella, grief-stricken, flees to Asia. Oh, wait, that's the description for the GOOD soap we're watching.

Instead, Annette's gone Stepford Wife, Jenny's having a DIY kidnapping and everyone ignores Roman, as usual. Just think fondly of, oh, Monday, when this show was awesome!

(PS. Lars is an arse. He shall henceforth be known as L'Arse.)

OH NOES! The pod people got to Annette! (Come back, Annettchen, we miss you!) Meanwhile, Roman braves a visit to the Centre to welcome his favourite doctor, and Jenny roughs it in style. (We want to go camping with her.)

PS. If Marian and Jenny decided to stay at the cabin and snog for awhile, we certainly wouldn't mind. L'Arse? L'Arse who?

After deciding DIY kidnapping isn't all it's cracked up to be, Jenny crank calls Roman with a fake French accent. (EKP suggests imagining Roman taking this call in bed, post-cabbie shag.) And L'Arse? Still a tool.

PS. This episode's highlight was Vanessa's birthday stripper, but it didn't fit our storylines (no matter how Shelly tried to justify it).